Monday, December 17, 2018

A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah - a review, and assessment


Armed conflicts around the world have many faces. From insurgent groups and terrorists, to veteran militants and professional combatants, over the years the presence of ongoing wars has left its mark on many generations. The most unfortunate aspect of which, however, is the use of child soldiers in estimated 14 countries around the globe. Currently, the United Nations Children Fund (UNICEF) defines a child soldier as any child under the age of eighteen who takes part in any regular or irregular armed conflict. Previously, this definition only applied to children under the age of fifteen; however, this was amended in 2002. Children and adolescents who participate in armed conflicts, whether voluntarily or involuntarily, are not only exposed to severe violence, but also struggle later on in life once the armed conflict ends. In A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah, the author, a former child soldier himself, presents a haunting narrative chronicling his early adolescence years in Sierra Leone armed forces where he participated in the fight against rebel forces from the age of thirteen until the age of sixteen. His subsequent rehabilitation and reintegration into society was, perhaps, more difficult than the armed conflict itself.

At the age of twelve, Beah survived a rebel forces attack on a village he was visiting with his friends. Unable to connect with his family members, he, along with a group of other children, embarked on a foot journey across Sierra Leone towards the last remaining safe zone, staying at random villages along the way, where he exchanged labor for food. After several months of traveling marked by imminent peril, he learned that his family was safe at a nearby village, but by the time he arrived there, it was already under attack by the rebels, who executed everyone in sight. The boys, however, manage to escape and seek refuge at another village protected by the national army. Several days later, with the rebels approaching, the army general in charge made all able bodies to join the fight, and Beah, along with his friends, was no exception. Thus, at the age of thirteen, Beah became a child soldier. Already traumatized by the violence he had witnessed from the onset of the war, Beah had seen first-hand what the rebels did to civilians, and he saw the need to take up arms not only as a way to survive, but as a tool of revenge as well.

While initially apprehensive and disgusted by the atrocities he participated in, Beah quickly lost empathy and devalued human life. After losing several ‘friends’ during combat, what could have been perceived as PTSD was replaced by indifference and rage, aided by the seemingly endless supply of drugs provided by the army. In between attacks, he lived in a perpetual state of high, smoking marijuana, and sniffing cocaine mixed with gunpowder. The drugs not only numbed his senses and his humanity, they gave him the energy to keep fighting. Over the next three years, he became proficient in killing, and enjoyed executing prisoners of war as he eventually rose to the rank of Junior Lieutenant. In charge of a small unit of fellow soldiers, he organized food raids to nearby villages, and engaged in the same atrocities he despised in the rebels, effectively switching from being a victim of war to becoming the aggressor.

In 1996, in an intervention by UNICEF, Beah was removed from active army service at the age of sixteen, and sent to a rehabilitation center in Freetown, the capital of Sierra Leone. Surrounded by fellow child soldiers from both sides of the conflict, he engaged in frequent fights amidst the former enemies. Dealing with drug withdrawals, he shut himself off from the efforts of counselors and the medical staff at the center, longing to return to the frontlines. Through the tireless work of one nurse at the center, Esther, Beah finally accepted that the war was over for him, and started making progress towards rehabilitation. It was at that time that he began to have nightmares of the atrocities he committed. Esther, together with other staff members, helped him establish contact with a lost uncle, who agreed to adopt Beah upon his release. Once he was cleared, Beah moved in with the uncle and slowly reintegrated into society and civilian life. At the recommendation of the rehabilitation center’s director, Beah went for an interview at the United Nations building in Freetown, to apply for a speaking position at an upcoming conference on the plight of child soldiers held at the UN headquarters in New York. Once accepted, Beah had traveled to New York where he, along with other former child soldiers and children affected by wars, gave a speech detailing their experiences.

Upon his return to Sierra Leone, Beah enrolled in a secondary school to complete his education, which was cut short by the war. Not long after, however, the rebels and a rogue faction of the army invaded Freetown, and overthrew the government in a coup. Faced with the possibility of either becoming a soldier again, or being killed if he were to be recognized by any of his fellow child soldiers, Beah fled the country to Guinea, and eventually to the United States, where he had a contact from his earlier UN visit. Once in the United States, Beah continued to work with the UN and wrote his memoir, and started a charitable foundation aimed at helping children affected by war to reintegrate into society.

The content of the book applies to Human Development in multiple ways. When Beah witnessed the first attack and subsequently became on his own at the age of twelve, his cohort effectively changed from that of his family and friends, to the army, which affected his future interactions with civilians at the rehabilitation center whom he perceived as incapable of understanding his experiences. During his formative years, he was affected by several adverse childhood experiences, which made him more susceptible to drug use and violence later on in life, especially since he did not have the support ecosystem that would help him build up his ACEs resilience score. It also confirms Watson’s theory that kids can be taught to love or hate anything – in this case, Beah, influenced by his peers, adapted to love killing and violence. This was further exacerbated by operant conditioning of reward in the form of drugs, when he did his job as a soldier well. It also illustrates Erikson’s theory of Identity versus Role Confusion, when his role changed from that of a carefree child to a sole provider responsible for his own sustenance.  Piaget’s principles of accommodation and assimilation could also apply here, as Beah adjusted his standards of right and wrong as the conflict progressed.

Having taken part in atrocities, is it possible for an adolescent to develop into a healthy adult capable of leaving the psychological trauma behind? Beah’s first defense mechanisms to deal with his trauma were Dissociation and Displacement. During the war, he displaced his anger at the loss of his family towards both rebels and civilians alike, essentially targeting the weaker ones to ‘punish’ them for his loss. After the war ended, dissociation became clear, because he had lost track of time and events that had taken place during his years in combat. Because of his involvement in armed conflict, Beah would have struggled with his development of identity as well.

The first research article, The Guiltless Guilty: Trauma-Related Guilt and Psychopathology in Former Ugandan Child Soldiers (F. Klassen, S. Reissmann, C. Voss, J. Okello – Child Psychiatry Human Development 2015), shows a clear correlation between child soldier experiences and future psychological disorders, mainly PTSD and Major Depressive Disorders. Interestingly, it shows that the majority of former child soldiers (50.8%) see themselves as victims, while only a minority (19.1%) see themselves as perpetrators. A greater number of traumatic experiences as a self-identified perpetrator is associated with the feeling of guilt, which is a predictor for externalizing psychological problems and resulting in aggression, cruelty, law-breaking, property damage, and conflict with others. Self-identified victims, on the other hand, tend to internalize problems, which correlates with a greater occurrence of major depressive disorders. Applying these results to Beah’s case, it confirms his initial aggression at the rehabilitation center, followed by withdrawals from interactions as he began to internalize his trauma.

The second research article, When Combat Prevents PTSD Symptoms – results from a survey with former child soldiers in Northern Uganda (R. Weierstall, I. Schalinski, A. Crombach, T. Hecker, T. Elbert – BMC Psychiatry 2012) explores the link between increased exposure to traumatic events and lower occurrence of PTSD. The study found that there is a clear dose-effect correlation between organized violence, as carried out by child-soldier units, and an appetite for aggression. Appetitive Aggression, such as the enjoyment of a victim struggling, has been found to lower PTSD scores in perpetrators. This, applied to Beah’s case, confirms his transition once he started enjoying killing prisoners of war as he went from a victim to a person responsible for violence and, especially, his lack of PTSD. While this study was limited in its sample, I felt it was relevant and important to include here, because it aids in understanding Beah’s mental health.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Vaginal Fistula Paper

I know I'm shifting gears here, but I think it is important to post this.

A few weeks ago, I had an assignment in one of my classes. The assignment was to watch A Walk to Beautiful documentary, and submit a written response on the topic of vaginal fistulas.

The documentary itself was very well done. The topic was not only slightly disturbing, but also very eye-opening. The more research I did, the more it became clear to me that this is a topic that should be brought forth, should be discussed, and that more education on this is sorely needed.

You can watch the documentary: A Walk to Beautiful YouTube

or visit the https://www.fistulafoundation.org/ to learn more

Without further ado, here is my humble paper on the topic:


Vaginal fistula is an operable tear in the vaginal wall that results in a hole between the vagina and another organ, frequently leading to fecal or urinal incontinence. There are six types of vaginal fistulas:
·         Vesicovaginal fistula – an opening between the vagina and the urinary bladder.
·         Ureterovaginal fistula – an opening between the vagina and the ureters (ducts that carry urine from kidneys to the bladder)
·         Urethrovaginal fistula – an opening between the vagina and the urethra (the tube that carries urine out of the body).
·         Rectovaginal fistula. – an opening between the vagina and the rectum.
·         Colovaginal fistula. – an opening between the vagina and the colon.
·         Enterovaginal fistula – an opening between the vagina and the small intestine.
Vaginal fistulas are usually caused by an injury; however, they can also result from both radiation treatment and infection, although this is less common.
The most prevalent cases of vaginal fistulas develop due to obstetric trauma during prolonged childbirth, which, in some instances, produce a double fistula, also know as a vesico-rectovaginal fistula. This is particularly common in the developing countries in northern Africa, Asia, and Middle East, where access to healthcare is either extremely limited or nonexistent altogether. The lack of accessible hospitals, combined with strong religious beliefs and low levels of education, only exacerbates the impact these injuries have on the lives of the women affected by this medical condition.
Additionally, sexual violence in conflict zones such as Congo, Sudan, or Rwanda, a second leading cause of vaginal fistula, cannot be overlooked. There are recorded instances where soldiers sexually assault women with broomsticks, rifles, or even bayonets, inflicting traumatic injuries to the vaginal and pelvic regions. This horrendous practice serves to not only demoralize the population, but also as a population growth control tool since the victims of sexual violence are less likely to bear children in the future.
The prevalence of obstetric vaginal fistula cases in South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa can be traced to several factors, such as young child-bearing age, malnutrition, lack of accessible healthcare, and women’s status in traditionally misogynistic societies. Women in Pakistan, Bangladesh, Mali, Ethiopia, Niger, Kenya, Uganda, Nigeria and other countries, are frequently subjected to hard labor since young age, which results in growth retardation or poorly developed skeletal structure. Furthermore, despite laws adopted to prevent child marriage, these women are often married off before their bodies mature, with almost one third married by age fifteen, and sometimes before they turn ten years old. Additionally, poor intra-partum care contributes to the high rate of injuries during childbirth.
Due to poor infrastructure, lack of access to healthcare in developing countries, and especially in rural communities, adversely affects an already complex situation. Research shows that less than 60% of women in sub-Saharan Africa deliver their children with the help of a qualified doctor or a midwife, and only 36% of women in Nigeria give birth under skilled medical care. Poverty and remoteness both play a central role in women’s inability to reach a hospital for obstetrics care.
These factors contribute to difficulties during child labor, where an underdeveloped pelvic girdle contributes to labor dystocia, or obstructed labor, increasing the risk of uterine rupture or infection. Often times, child labor lasts considerably longer than usual, resulting in tissue damage from pressure exerted by the child’s head, ultimately leading to vaginal fistula. Many of these women also experience stillbirth, which can cause postpartum depression.
Unlike in Western societies, where vaginal fistula is easily repaired immediately after childbirth, women in the developing world are often impacted for the rest of their lives. In Africa, in particular, husbands and immediate family tend to abandon the women who suffer from vaginal fistula. Due to an uncontrollable foul smelling discharge, society, in general, views these women as unclean, and often prevents them from partaking in day-to-day activities. These women, who already deal with the psychological impacts of stillbirth, are shamed to leave, and have to fend for themselves on the outskirts of society without access to traditional family support structures.
Poverty, lack of education regarding available medical treatments, and deeply-rooted religious beliefs prevent these women from seeking the help they need to heal. Oftentimes, vaginal fistula patients suffer for years without knowing that their condition is treatable with a simple surgery. In rural areas, there are simply no hospitals, and if these women seek care at a regular urban hospital, guards often turn them away due to their foul smell, and they leave without ever seeing a doctor. Unfortunately, in countries where this condition is most prevalent, specialized fistula hospitals are scarce, and not easily accessible for the majority of women from rural areas.
Ultimately, women suffering from vaginal fistula who are either unaware of, or unable to access treatment options, end up living alone, and often without their previous children. Their medical condition prevents them from leading productive lives, and contributing to the overall economy. Without the ability to advance their education and learn new work skills, these women are confined to a low social-economic status, which plays a significantly adverse role in their chance for recovery. This influences future generations of women, and perpetuates the current detrimental conditions.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

3 days left for a Giveaway

There are three days left to enter a drawing for a Goodreads Giveaway of 100 eBook copies of the Mad Days of Me, complete trilogy.

Winners are chosen by Goodreads, and copies are distributed directly by Amazon. 

Good luck to all participants. If you do not win, this edition is available exclusively on Kindle, and free to Prime members via KindleUnlimited.




Goodreads Book Giveaway


Mad Days of Me, the complete trilogy by Henry Martin

Mad Days of Me, the complete trilogy

by Henry Martin


Giveaway ends August 19, 2018.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.


Enter Giveaway

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Image Prompt Poems June 2018

Here are a couple of recent poems written in response to image prompts put out by Realistic Poetry International on Twitter. Both were written live, on Twitter.


The artery of humanity 
branching in paths unknown 
thin veins traversing 
the fertile landscape of the world 

Through the capillaries 
though hardly perceptible 
runs a shared thread 
the collective subconscious 
which makes us whole 
despite our differences

Copyright Henry Martin July 06, 2018


Our pains and memories 
like tree branches 
spread from our cores 
through our existence 

Some see a tangled mess 
sore spots rubbed to inflammation 
where our experiences 
collide with a clash 

Yet I concentrate on our trunks 
deeply rooted in our past 
able to withstand 
any storm

Copyright Henry Martin June 26, 2018

Impossible Love, a Poem

This is a new piece I wrote on August 06, 2018 while sitting by the water. The scenery brought back some memories of long gone days - days spent on an island thousands of miles away.


Friday, August 3, 2018

Poems

Here are a few new poems from recent days.

Procrastinate

When the darkness seemed impenetrable
a drink from Lethe
was all I desired
hoping to start again

A tabula rasa
not yet stained
by horrid memories

I'm glad I procrastinated
for had I found it
I would have lost the moments with you
that made me who I am today

___

Dignity

Cracked lips gasping for air
as I curl up in pain
shaking with silent sobs
no one will ever hear

The wet pavement
soothes my agony
as tears mixed with blood
seep in between the stones

You have used my body
and threw it away
but my dignity
will never shatter
and I will live on.

___

Approval

Who knew
an act of kindness
could set our worlds ablaze

 Two hurt souls
finding in each other
what we needed most

Our unholy union
the thorn
in their side

In mad passion
we clashed
against tides of hatred

But when you sought their approval
we became lost again
to wander alone

All text Copyright 2018 by Henry Martin.

Poetry written live on Twitter via prompts from #dailywisdomwords


Saturday, July 21, 2018

Goodreads Giveaway of Mad Days of Me, trilogy




Goodreads Book Giveaway


Mad Days of Me, the complete trilogy by Henry Martin

Mad Days of Me, the complete trilogy

by Henry Martin


Giveaway ends August 19, 2018.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.


Enter Giveaway




Goodreads is currently running a Giveaway of 100 eBook copies of the entire Mad Days of Me trilogy. To enter, please visit Goodreads via the link below

Of course, the book is also available on Kindle Unlimited for free to Prime members and Amazon subscribers via this link: https://www.amazon.com/Mad-Days-Me-Complete-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00ZAKVSG0

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

More Twitter Poetry

I have a few more Twitter poems to share.

Written live on 07/16/18, these are on the word prompt - Accolades:


We say farewell
small teardrops
molten silver notes
falling upon the piano

Black and white keys
like steps we took
steps we skipped
together yet far apart

In our hearts
silent accolades
for what we did not share
but had to follow

Goodbyes
never flow easy
from lips
twisted in pain

_____


On a beach at dusk
my insides twisted by hunger
watching seagulls soar freely
Envious of the scavengers
I replay the day I left
in my wake
burnt bridges and hearts that never heal
including yours
It's too late to sing accolades
to all that could have been
if only I . . .

______

Aroused by your scent
I lie awake disturbed
clutching the clothes you left behind
23 days, 2 hours, and 15 minutes ago
not that I obsess

There was a time
when my accolades made you smile
but my actions brought you pain
that no sonnets could take away
even if you were to hear them


Written live on 07/14/18, these two are on the Song Prompt - Wish I knew You by The Revitalists:


My unknown stranger
lost at the sea of memories
I had sailed far too long
while you shone like a lonely star
When all was dark
I needed you the most
to escape on wings of time
the scorching past
and soar higher than ever
Where were you
when I burned bright
when I still could fly

______

The brightest light amidst lights
a star burning up from within
I cannot discern the source of your fears
as you scorch what could have been
had we met when I was young
we could have merged
and like the sun burn all
until all stars lost and we remained one
alone and beautiful





All poems Copyright by Henry Martin

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Linkin Park tribute Poem

As part of a Poetry group on Twitter, I receive daily prompts - sometimes words, other times images, and, most recently a song prompt.

With Image Prompts, it is simple - interpret the image in a poem any way you see fit.
With Word Prompts,  it's also simple - use the daily word in a poem.
But this latest prompt, a song, is a different game altogether.

Songs are, in a way, poems. Well, at least the good songs are poems. Songs tell stories, expose emotions, intents, psychological responses . . . But then there is also the music, which plays a vital role in how we interpret the meaning of the song.

The song selected for this week's prompt is Waiting for the End by Linkin Park with the talented late Chester Bennington. This being so close to the first anniversary of Chester's untimely death, I thought to concentrate only on the chorus, which were his lines:

"We're waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control

Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go

I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got"

Now being about the same age as Chester, having experienced some messed-up things myself, and knowing what I know, I decided to interpret these lines not as part of a song about an ending relationship, but as a song about inner suffering.

The exercise is in no way meant to disrespect the memory of Chester Bennington. He was a very talented vocalist, and an amazing songwriter. I wish he was still around.

So, without further ado, here is my poem.


Friday, July 6, 2018

Coffee, Cigarettes, and Murderous Thoughts Sale

My short story collection, Coffee, Cigarettes, and Murderous Thoughts is currently on sale on Amazon Kindle both in the US and the UK.



For those interested, the offer is $0.99 instead of the regular price of $2.99 and it expires on July 11, 2018

US link: https://www.amazon.com/Coffee-Cigarettes-Murderous-Thoughts-Martin-ebook/dp/B00AZSCD84

UK link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Coffee-Cigarettes-Murderous-Thoughts-Martin-ebook/dp/B00AZSCD84

Monday, June 25, 2018

Twitter Poetry

I have been neglecting this blog as of late, playing on Twitter instead.

Recently, I connected with a couple of growing poetry groups on Twitter: Realistic Poetry and Samantha's Daily Wisdom Words. Both are awesome communities for casual and professional poets alike, and both frequently feature writing prompts.

Personally, I have not written any poetry in quite some time, but the prompts in my Twitter feed got me not only curious, but engaged as well. Of course, Twitter has its limitations when it comes to length, but like flash fiction, it challenges me to cut out words that are not needed.

Over the past few weeks, I have made it a point to participate in both groups, and here are some of the resulting poems, all written on the spot without any editing.


Transmission - Daily Wisdom word

The words hang in the air
suspended question marks
as I stare at a blank wall
avoiding your gaze

The words I ignore
unwilling to admit
the transmission has failed
and our understanding faltered

The words hang in the air
painful reminders
of what we used to be
but are no more

***

Altruism - Daily Wisdom Words

When I was teetering
on the edge of life and death
And you mourned the loss
of the one you loved
since the day you said "I do"
our paths, separate roads to perdition
crossed to be a united path
to be whole again
through altruistic care
You saved my life
and I gave you back yours

***
These next two were based on a writing prompt from Realistic Poetry International - Domestic Violence / Sexual Assault

Domestic violence

A stand-up man
with nothing to stand up for
 unable to love
more than one at a time
 while the other two
shiver knowing
their turn will come
and the one loved yesterday
would be beaten today
Torn between devotion and fear
not knowing
which day it is today for me
***

Sexual Assault
 
With a knife against my throat
and hot breath on the back of my neck
the night turned from pleasant
to a nightmare
Discarded behind bushes
feet away from light
I sobbed
shaking like a hurt animal
on the edge of life and death
I rose stronger
never again allowing
to be a victim
***

Eternity - Daily Wisdom Word

A hand in hand
we walk along the shore
while slow moving waves
roll sand grains
back and forth
for eternity
In an antediluvian ritual
two souls connected
breathing in nature's rhythm
when time loses meaning
and all else ceases to matter
except emotions
we never knew existed
***

Sexual Assault - Realistic Poetry International

When I was young
full of hopes and dreams
looking up to you for guidance
You used your power
to take advantage of my body
When my tears dried
and the body aches faded away
the pain inside persisted
haunting me for years to come
as I blamed myself
until I learned to forgive
***

Vision - Daily Wisdom Word

Eyes blinded by glare
of all we are
supposed to admire
Vision blurred
yet on the periphery
there is a glimmer of hope
For beyond the pedestals
truth awaits patiently
for those who seek
more than what we are fed
***

Prose - Daily Wisdom Word

Prose - and why not
when all rhymes have been used
and all riddles solved

Prose - comforting
as the sheets of dusk
descend to wrap me in loneliness

Prose - an old friend
when the house is quiet
but I cannot yet sleep

Prose - always there
truths and lies
for the inquisitive.

***
Love on Father’s Day, an image prompt

Your hand
so small in mine
soft
unlike the calluses
I endured
carrying you this far
Past this broken bridge
 a new life awaits
those who seek
more
than you can experience
here, in what we leave
behind
sorrows can remain
and past will be just that
a past

***

An image prompt of three staircases, with the middle one lit up

On their race to the top
many are blinded
by the bright staircase
enticing the runners
with its golden promises
and straight paths to success
Yet many move too fast
failing to spot
the inevitable drain
which swallows most of them
just as they are
about to take the first step

***

An image prompt sunrise over prairie

Though the sun rises
as faithfully as it always does
our moments together
are but shadows
of our former selves
blinded by the glaring light
And what we imagined
to be the sunrise
of our life together
are two shadow prints
forever framed
by our mutual nuclear annihilation

***
An image prompt - GIF feet moving on grass

Toes scratching at the grass
in motion yet stationary
you remain tied to your past
scraping at the earth
from which you were born.
The promises of better days
lie somewhere ahead
in the future distant
as the past you no longer recall
yet feel every time you breathe
Move, be free.

***

Labels - Daily Wisdom Word

Like discarded mess
in an old drawer
we're conditioned to conform
to some predisposed purpose
based on labels assigned
These labels come easy
yet are hard to remove
be it geek, rebel, punk
as we grow
the unfit labels tie us down
restricting true potential
Don't label us
Please!

***

Image Prompt, message in a bottle on a beach
 
message of thwarted love
tossed into the sea
Or a cry for help
from lips
that no longer breathe

I came upon you
while searching for peace
along a shore
amidst pebbles
seeking solitude

Shall I uncork the bottle
and read the words
that don't belong to me
Or leave
both of us be

***

Passion - Daily Wisdom Word

Torn apart
from within and without
consumed by emotions
I never knew existed
until I abandoned all
I knew before you
Only by severing ties
I allowed myself
to immerse completely
into you and all you gave
with relentless passion
I eagerly accepted
Trading my hell
for your heaven
***

If you are on Twitter, you can check out both groups at   


and https://twitter.com/RealisticPoetry for Realistic Poetry International

You can always find me on Twitter as well @MadDaysofMe







Monday, April 9, 2018

Knowing Joe by Cheryl Anne Gardner - a review

Knowing JoeKnowing Joe by Cheryl Anne Gardner

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I’ve been a fan of Cheryl Anne Gardner’s writing for some time, having read most (if not all) of her past offerings, so when her latest, Knowing Joe, appeared on my feed, I had to order a copy.

For those familiar with her novellas, this will be a departure from her often-dark style, into a new territory – satire. Nevertheless, her fans will find her usual intelligent prose in this work as well.

Not knowing what to expect, I dove straight into Knowing Joe thinking this would be a quick read about a guy, a girl, and a bench. However, my inner voice told me to slow down, which was a good thing.

On the surface, Knowing Joe is exactly what it promises on the cover – a story about “How not to have sex, not to eat noodles, and other romantic nonsense”. Yet, between the lines lurks a completely different story altogether. Whether this was Gardner’s intention or not, I do not know. What I do know is that after reading this, I do not know Joe, and I still don’t understand women – which the book never promised to help me with.

This book is about a girl, whose name we never learn. She is referred to as, simply, Girl. Girl has a friend, Matt, and a few others, and Girl finds a heavily underlined book whose previous reader mentions Joe. And this is where Knowing Joe really begins.

This novella is beautifully ambiguous, in a way that gives it a universal appeal. I must assume that this is not by accident, because it goes in line with the name choices – Girl, Joe (some average Joe, some girl we all know). The story is relatable, universal, and taunting.

Through Girl’s inner monologue, Gardner explores societal norms, issues, and expectations surrounding relationships. Girl sees she is not fitting in with what everyone else expects, engages in, or talks about. Girl questions, Girl ponders, Girl plays along, Girl rejects. Most importantly, Girl wants to stay true to herself, to be who she is, no matter what norms society dictates, no matter how many bull stories her friends tells her, no matter what the expected course is. Girl struggles in a way we all struggle with relationships, because we all question ourselves.

Gardner poignantly exposes the nonsense behind the false stories and false faces, behind appearances for the sake of others, and how those who engage in them lose part of themselves. From Girl’s point of view, she explores insecurities, fears, and desires most men and women face when it comes to being romantically involved.

While this is a quick read, the story deserves some pondering. It explores the complicated nature of women, of sex, relationships, and of friendship. In a way, it is a mirror aimed at ourselves - one that shows that we do not have to lose a part of who we are just because it is expected.




View all my reviews

Sunday, March 18, 2018

The Silence Before Dawn - Kindle Deal for a limited time

The Silence Before Dawn is temporarily discounted as a Kindle Countdown deal from March 18, 2018 through March 23, 2018 on both Amazon.com and Amazon UK.

The Silence Before Dawn is an avant-garde collection of 73 poems compiled within five categories:

Relationships: Reflections upon love, fragile feelings, and the pain that comes with loving.

Thoughts: A look into the poet’s soul, where anything goes.

Confessions of a Troubled Soul: Deepest desires and simple reflections, mainly the product of the poet’s twisted mind.

Tickling the Surreal: Welcome to the border of reality . . .a personal outlook at our surroundings.

The Noise After Sunrise: Revisiting places that touched the poet’s soul, and a look at the brighter side the rising sun reveals.

You can preview the book, and purchase your copy here:
Amazon

Amazon UK

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Four Vignettes - Free for a limited Time

Four Vignettes, the first volume in the Karl Strand / Henry Martin Project is currently Free on Kindle worldwide through Saturday March 17, 2018.

This is a short read - Four photographs accompanied by four vignettes - an art project for the sake of art. It was a great honor to be able to work with Karl, blending visual art with the written word.

You can obtain your free copy directly from Amazon here:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00RAQ98YQ


Thursday, March 8, 2018

Mad Days of Me, the complete trilogy on Sale

Mad Days of Me, the complete trilogy, is on sale from Friday March 9, 2018, until Sunday, March 11, 2018.

If you have the book on your TBR list, I hope you will take advantage of this limited time opportunity to purchase over 800 pages of literary fiction for the price of one e-book.

This is a Kindle exclusive edition, and the promotion is featured on Amazon.com and Amazon UK.

United Kingdom sale runs from 01:00 am GMT on  Friday through 11:00 pm Sunday.
US sale runs from 04:00 am PST Friday through 11:00 pm PST Sunday.

There is no need for any code, and Kindle books can be read on any device with the Kindle app. Kindle Unlimited subscribers can read this title for free.

Here is a link to the UK site: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00ZAKVSG0

Here is a link to the US site: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZAKVSG0

 Rudy, a nineteen-year old runaway arrives in Barcelona full of hope. Two days later, he finds himself outside a subway station half-naked and robbed of all his possessions. Trapped in a city whose language he doesn't speak, Rudy embarks on an epic journey in search of peace, self-discovery, and his place in the sea of humanity. This journey traverses countries, cultures, and languages, at once mixing hope and despair as Rudy finds love worth fighting for, only to be haunted by his own demons. Mad Days of Me is a complicated tale of humanity's worst nemesis– itself. It is a story of hope, survival, perseverance, love, and the power of dreaming.

The promotion is also featured on The Fussy Librarian newsletter. If you would like to subscribe to their newsletter to receive eBook sale alerts for eligible titles, please visit:  http://www.thefussylibrarian.com/

Friday, March 2, 2018

Coffee, Cigarettes, and Murderous Thoughts - Short Story Collection, Free until 3/4/2018

My dark short story collection, Coffee, Cigarettes, and Murderous Thoughts is now exclusive to Kindle. To mark the switch, I'm running a FREE kindle book promo through midnight, March 4, 2018. This deal applies to all Amazon sites, including international.

Here is a link to the US site: Kindle US

For international sites, you can open the above link, delete .com and replace it with your own extension.


Thursday, March 1, 2018

The Silence Before Dawn - Kindle countdown deal

The Silence Before Dawn, my poetry collection, is currently discounted via Kindle countdown deals at $0.99 for the next two days (ending March 3. 2018). It is free to KindleUnlimited Subscribers, and both eBook and paperback versions are available.

To preview or purchase, visit: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K0KYJN4

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

The Phone Booth - a KSHM Photostory

KSHM Project short story The Phonebooth is now exclusive to Amazon Kindle, and free to read for the next three days (ending March 2, 2018)

If you are looking for a quick read during a lunch break, a short story to ponder on your morning commute, or just something short to entertain your mind, this story might be for you.

While strolling around Sydney, Karl noticed an abandoned phone booth with the receiver dangling by its cord. On top of the phone, he found a few words scribbled in an open notepad. Karl took a photograph of the phone booth, and Henry let his imagination do the rest. This short story is a scenario inspired by the photograph.

Get your free copy on Kindle:  Kindle

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Tales of Ordinary Madness by Charles Bukowski - a review

Tales of Ordinary MadnessTales of Ordinary Madness by Charles Bukowski

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Bukowski – the man, the myth, the legend.

I’ve been reading Bukowski’s works on and off for the past 25+ years, and I have yet to find it boring.

Tales of Ordinary Madness is a collection of 34 short stories, some fictional, some less so, and some downright out of his own, unique life.

Unlike his other, pseudo-autobiographical works, or his other short story collections, this one was harder to read than most. Not because of the subject matter – after 25 years I know what to expect from him – but because of the frequent lack of proper punctuation, capitalization, and discard for text readability. In essence, many of these stories appear as how they would have been written prior to a proper edit. (this could have been either an intentional choice, or true first drafts – either way, it does not matter to me enough to do the research) Although harder on the eyes, the style does not take away from the content.

In this collection, Bukowski delivers his usual subject matters in his usual style. The master of the lowlife short story form. And for that, I am grateful.

By contemporary standards, Bukowski would be a misogynist, a racist, a tramp, a drunk, and a generally unappealing person. However, the same standards would throw many other great writers under the bus, so to speak. And Bukowski was, undoubtedly, a great writer.

Sure, he was a drunk, and probably not a very nice person. Nevertheless, Bukowski dealt in raw emotions, raw settings, and he did not really give a flying f#@#k about what I, or anybody else think of him. He wrote because he had to (those nagging voices would not stop), and he wrote in an utmost honest way. And that, I can appreciate.

There were many other great writers, but none came even close when it came to honest, raw emotion – Kerouac was too polished, Miller too philosophical, and Hemingway . . . well.

The beauty in Bukowski’s writing lies in its simplicity. If something smells like shit, he writes that. If he is too drunk to get an erection, he writes that. If he manages to get laid, he writes that. And if he finds himself in jail on yet another drunk charge, he writes that, too. He is able to observe the world, make fun of it, and laugh at himself at the same time.

In an era where the radio pours forth the high-pitched voices of whiny, wimpy-sounding male singers; where the media promotes sensitive males, tough women, and gender-neutral bathrooms; where political correctness trumps everything else – Bukowski’s rough manliness is a breath of fresh air (even though he was not being a man - he just did not give a damn). [and judging by the rise of #MeToo the image of correctness, equality, and sensitivity is very much just an image] I would never want to be like him, however, I can appreciate his existence.

In a way, Bukowski’s writing shows what he always said – he hated people, society, ideals – he wanted to be left alone. He drank to escape his inner demons, to escape the world. He gave up on the world, and reemerged honest in a way many other writers could not.

Reading his works never fails to inspire me to create, which is perhaps the paradox in all of this.



View all my reviews

Thursday, February 22, 2018

The danger of blaming only the NRA

As an author, I feel that it is not my job to get on top of the proverbial soapbox and meddle in contemporary issues through the use of this blog. Alas, as much as I try to stay away from contemporary political discussions, sometimes it is just not possible.

The recent tragedy in Florida has both extreme sides of the age-old gun argument heating up, and insults fly in both directions. This, to say the least, is disrespecting the memory of the victims, and is counter-productive to a rational debate. And rational debate is what is needed if we, as a nation, are going to minimize the risk of future school shootings.

The left is currently screaming for gun control, while the right is holding up the constitution and screaming at the left. Data flies in both directions, both for and against gun control, while in our nation's capitol it is business as usual. When I say business as usual, I refer to the disconnect between our population and our legislature. I don't remember the last time I was excited about any politician running for an office.

I will not delve deep into the issue of gun control, as there are more versed and better-funded groups on both sides who will silence me faster than I can place a period at the end of this sentence. I will say, however, that it is not a simple, black and white issue, and the only lasting solution will come with multiple changes across many fields.

For starters, let's just say that schools nowadays are run by kids who do not fear either the teachers or the system. Many parents are not parenting, and teachers' hands are too-often tied with unreasonable policies; plus, educators are afraid of the very parents who fail to do their job at home.

Likewise, healthcare providers struggle with privacy rules, and mentally unstable individuals go unreported to the proper channels.

Kids are looking up to celebrities, nonsensical Youtube influencers, violent music, and violent Hollywood movies (and who is Hollywood to talk when its own culture is one of abuse – as documented by the rise of the #MeToo movement). There is no fear of God, no fear of anything greater then ourselves, no fear of reprimand.

There is no reason why a threatening student could not be punished, removed from school, and marked in the system as a dangerous individual. Likewise, anyone diagnosed with depression, anti-social behavior, psychopathic or suicidal tendencies should be flagged as temporarily ineligible for firearms purchases.

At the same time, a secure entrance to schools (double doors with shatterproof glass coating) should be standard equipment at all schools. A dangerous individual could be easily detained between the two sets of doors until authorities arrive. This is not just for shooters - it would prevent aggravated custody issues, drunk or aggressive parents, threatening students . . .

Almost every school nowadays has either a security or a resource officer. The people hired to do this job should be experienced, retired LEO or Military, and should be able to use force when necessary.
Most importantly, our culture (or rather the lack of) has to change. Civility is seldom practiced, and rudeness is either tolerated or downright celebrated. Perpetrators should remain nameless instead of given the attention they crave.

There are many other things that could be done without imposing on people's rights and freedoms, however, the point of this post is not that (I got side tracked).

The point of my post was the danger of blaming solely the NRA - which happens after every tragic event involving firearms.

I go to a shooting range frequently, and have many acquaintances who own firearms. To be honest, less than 10% of them belong to the NRA. Most gun owners I know are regular people who lean neither left nor right, and are equally appalled by these atrocities as anyone else.

The extreme left loves to blame the NRA, exaggerates its monetary power, and loves to paint it as the root of all that is bad when it comes to firearms. To this, I’d say that by constantly mentioning it, you are giving it the power.

Remember when the media blamed and credited almost every terrorist attack and plot on ISIS? Guess what, ISIS embraced that attention and used it to recruit more fighters. Its power grew, even if not in the real world, it grew in the world of perception.

By blaming solely NRA, you are giving it media attention, you are giving it perceived power over politicians, and you are limiting the options for a meaningful dialogue, which is what our nation needs to make progress on this issue.

Frankly, if the NRA were to magically disappear, the underlying issues behind gun violence would all still be here. There would still be guns, there would still be violence, there would still be gangs, criminals, mentally unstable individuals, understaffed and under-funded schools, un-involved parents, and violence-promoting media.

To make the world a better place, we need to have a meaningful dialogue, enforce existing laws, provide help for those who need it, and punishment for those who do us wrong.


Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Artificial Intelligence - why?

As our technological advances streamline just about every aspect of human productivity, manufacturing, technological interface, and living, companies all around the world make the push for Artificial Intelligence.

AI promises a brighter future for mankind, or so we are told. However, there is another side to AI, one which is not often talked about.

Let us not even mention the fact that our laws are trailing far behind when it comes to the leaps and bounds in tech industries. Let us not mention the fact that what every totalitarian regime failed to achieve through force - the control of news and information, the tracking of the movements of its citizens, the manipulation of opinions - young people the world over submit to voluntarily on a daily basis. Let us not mention the fact that Facebook filters the information you receive, Google knows more about you than your own family, your phone and fit watch tracks your every step, and your movement is tracked through license plates and location services. Big data is everywhere, and it is here to stay.

Never mind the fact that a large segment of today's most valued companies produces absolutely nothing tangible.

The push for autonomous vehicles, drone deliveries, automated services, and other AI applications is, in my opinion, wrong.

The loss of jobs aside (yes, there are counter arguments and even universal salary tests); the environmental impact aside (autonomous vehicles will likely lead to expansion of suburban areas - for those who can afford it - and destruction of arable land); the evolutionary impact aside (the general public is not getting any smarter since the dawn of Smartphones); and the psychological impact aside (people are struggling with interpersonal relationships and interactions since the rise of Social media); there are many other aspects to consider.

In a report featured on Euronews:  http://www.euronews.com/2018/02/21/commercial-drones-could-be-turned-into-weapons-using-ai-report-warns
citing the University of Cambridge's Centre for the Study of Existential Risk
its authors warn of the possibility that AI could be used in harmful ways:

'Harmful ends'

Attackers could capitalise on the “proliferation of drones” and re-use them for “harmful ends”, according to the University of Cambridge's Centre for the Study of Existential Risk, who helped put the report together.
It said we could see the “crashing of fleets of autonomous vehicles, turning of commercial drones into missiles or holding critical infrastructure to ransom”.
AI could also herald novel cyber attacks such as automated hacking and the production of highly-believable fake videos to be used as “powerful tools to manipulate public opinion on previously unimaginable scales”.
“Artificial intelligence is a game changer and this report has imagined what the world could look like in the next five to ten years,” said Dr Seán Ó hÉigeartaigh, one of the co-authors of the report.
“We live in a world that could become fraught with day-to-day hazards from the misuse of AI and we need to take ownership of the problems – because the risks are real. There are choices that we need to make now, and our report is a call-to-action for governments, institutions and individuals across the globe.
“For many decades hype outstripped fact in terms of AI and machine learning. No longer. This report looks at the practices that just don’t work anymore — and suggests broad approaches that might help: for example, how to design software and hardware to make it less hackable — and what type of laws and international regulations might work in tandem with this.”
Miles Brundage, research fellow at Oxford University’s Future of Humanity Institute, said: “AI will alter the landscape of risk for citizens, organisations and states — whether it’s criminals training machines to hack or ‘phish’ at human levels of performance or privacy-eliminating surveillance, profiling and repression — the full range of impacts on security is vast.
“It is often the case that AI systems don’t merely reach human levels of performance but significantly surpass it. It is troubling, but necessary, to consider the implications of superhuman hacking, surveillance, persuasion, and physical target identification, as well as AI capabilities that are subhuman but nevertheless much more scalable than human labour.”

This is not too far fetched to imagine.

Still, in my opinion, the simplest case against AI is this - Humans are, by nature, fallible creatures. We do some things right, but a lot of things wrong. Any artificial intelligence worth its weight is likely to realize that humans are not good for long-term survival of the planet,and with it, the AI system itself.

If you were an AI system, what would you do once you become aware of that?
 

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Thank you

I would like to use this public venue to express my heartfelt thanks to all the readers who are resurrecting the Mad Days of Me trilogy on Amazon charts.

This work, comprising of the three books in the Mad Days of Me, trilogy (Escaping Barcelona; Finding Eivissa; and Eluding Reality) represents my biggest literary accomplishment to date. Written over the period of six years, it is a complex work of literary fiction with underlying psychological elements.

Using the stream-of-consciousness voice of Rudy, an unreliable narrator, the trilogy explores the often overlooked world of teen runaways, homelessness, and the conflicting nature of coming-of-age youths who find themselves torn between the notions of world as taught to them by families and educators, and the world as seen from their own experience.

At the beginning, Rudy undergoes a crash-course in humanity and sociology, effectively turning his world upside-down. However, with an unexpected dignity and integrity, he is able to see past his present situation and aspire to rise from the ashes of his former self.

Congratulations to the winners of the Goodreads Giveaway. I hope you will enjoy my work.

To those who participated but did not win - Thank you for your interest. The trilogy is available fro free to Kindle Unlimited subscribers, and for the affordable price of $4.99 to anyone not participating in the Kindle program.

Kindle

The combined trilogy is an Amazon exclusive. If you would like to read my work on a different platform, the individual books are available at Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Kobo, and anywhere else ebooks are sold.








Thursday, February 1, 2018

Mad Days of Me, the complete trilogy eBook Giveway

It's been a long time since I posted anything on this blog. Frankly, social media was never my calling, and I use the blog only occasionally to share samples of my work, and new events.

Alas, here is a new event.

In an effort to relaunch the Mad Days of Me saga, there is an active eBook giveaway for the entire trilogy on Goodreads, with fulfillment directly by Amazon Kindle.

Yes, that's right, the entire trilogy, all 800+ pages.

This is my most challenging work to date, and it follows a nineteen-year-old runaway through the ups and downs found along the way. But it is not your average cookie-cutter coming of age story; far from it.

The three separate volumes in this trilogy take the reader through the dark streets of old town Barcelona, the beautiful island of Ibiza, across French Provence, Northern Italy, and Vienna on a fascinating journey where the hurt and lost seeks to find not only peace, but, most importantly, himself.

In each of the three volumes, two distinct themes are explored, offering a multi-faceted look into the main character's psyche, and the world that surrounds him.

The separate volumes were all well received by both readers and reviewers alike. This is the first time the trilogy is offered as one eBook. For your chance to win one of a hundred copies, please visit Goodreads Giveaways here: Goodreads Giveaway

Alternately, readers with Amazon Prime subscription, can now read the book for free on their Kindle Unlimited account: Kindle Unlimited

The Giveaway is open to entries until February 10, 2018